If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
third nipple confirmed
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
