he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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