Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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