Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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