Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
