I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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