He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I came so hard my ears popped.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
