she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
