I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
