just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
