My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
