dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
