Already got asked if we're dating
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
