What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
