I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
