Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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