He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
