Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I think my fart just growled at me.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
