i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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