U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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