My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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