chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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