i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
