I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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