i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
