Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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