My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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