Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
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I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
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