Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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