oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
