he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
