Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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