WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
