Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
