sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I met the friendliest cop last night
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
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You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
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Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
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