Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i believe in u and ur pee
ok first of all what the fuck
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize