Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
