a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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