Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
