I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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