Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
