I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
