thus making me awesome and them whores
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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