so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
this will be a night to untag.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
