Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
