Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize