How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
My vagina is very pro this idea
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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