my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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