Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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