Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
