Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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