its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
