U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
