Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
